Kusha,
You told me you're fine breaking even on the front end if the back end makes the money. Here's how I'll make it.
You already have what most brands don't: a 30%+ repurchase rate and a patented kids tape nobody else makes. Email is where that turns into profit, and right now it isn't. Say yes and I start writing Monday. That puts us ahead of Black Friday, when the most new buyers of the year hit your list.
That's from one call. The data will show the rest. Month one is where I find it.
My kids eat beef liver.
They drink meat stock out of a mug. They don't complain about any of it. So my wife and I figured mouth tape would be the easiest sell in the house.
Then our daughter took one look at it and said no.
She said no at bedtime, and no after we explained why, and no after watching her siblings put theirs on and laugh about how comfortable it was. For a guy who sells mouth tape for a living, that's an awkward thing to admit. But you should know it, because if your kid is doing the same thing right now, you're in very normal company.
This is the point where most parents quit, and I don't blame them. Your kid is crying, you're exhausted, it's 8pm, and the tape goes back in the box.
The reason we kept going:
We'd already seen what breathing through the mouth all night does to a kid. The tossing and turning. The dark circles at breakfast. The meltdown at 4pm from a kid who's old enough to know better. One study followed more than 11,000 children for years, and the ones with sleep-disordered breathing, like snoring and mouth breathing, were 40 to 100 percent more likely to have behavior problems by age seven. We weren't going to lose that one to a bedtime argument.
So we changed the plan.
My wife put her to bed like normal. No tape, no argument. About an hour and a half later, around 9:30, she slipped back in and put the tape on while our daughter slept.
She didn't wake up. The tape stayed on till morning. Nobody cried, including my wife.
We called it the second bedtime. We did it for two or three weeks, and then one night the argument just didn't happen.
If your kid is fighting you, try the second bedtime tonight.
(If your kid wore it the first night without a word, congratulations. Some kids do. You can skip to the video.)
Two other things come up in the first week:
"It's off by morning." That's fine. Restless sleepers rub their face into the pillow, and restless sleep is the reason you bought it. It stays on longer as they settle in.
"Their mouth still opens." Then the tape is sitting too close to the lips. It goes around the mouth with a little stretch, not on top of it. If your kid has a small mouth, trim it to fit. The video shows both in about a minute:
Kusha
P.S. A little redness where the tape sits? Reply to this email. We make a Sensitive tape with an inert adhesive for exactly that, and we'll get you the right one.
Day 1, I pull your trailing six-month email revenue from Klaviyo and we lock it in as the baseline, so we're both measuring from the same number.
| Track | Monthly | Plus |
|---|---|---|
| ~$4,500 | 10% of new email revenue only: what email brings in above your six-month average. Money you were already making stays 100% yours. | |
| Site / CRO | ~$2,500 | 10% of the extra revenue each winning test brings in, for 12 months |
For site work, I pick the tests and write the copy and specs. Your dev team builds them. Most of what I earn past the base only comes from growth I create.
Either of us can walk away at day 30.
I've spent six years writing email and building funnels for ecommerce and digital brands: in-house, as a CMO, and at emailmarketing.com, where automations were the job. A few recent results (that I'm allowed to share):
Also: I'm CMO for two brands, ran email for an ecommerce brand inside Ezra Firestone's program, and used to teach inside a $3k/month copywriting mastermind.
michaelrochin@gmail.com